Saturday, 28 February 2009
Live from the Bear Brother House!
It's that time. I know.It's immense. Yes Bear Brother has now officially begun! With out further ado I give you the contestants:
Boo Boo - having seen Boo Boo's audition tape, veiwers already know that Boo Boo won over the Judges' hearts and minds ( Just where these are kept, I would not like to say!) with her amazing 'charm'
Boo Boo - having seen Boo Boo's audition tape, veiwers already know that Boo Boo won over the Judges' hearts and minds ( Just where these are kept, I would not like to say!) with her amazing 'charm'
CoCo - Boo Boo's estranged husband, a former child's entertainer famous for his balloon 'animals' and party tricks, who went off the rails after Boo Boo left their marrital home in exchange for the wild life. Bitter and twisted since her departure, Coco has made front page news after he flipped when one of the children questioned the likeness of his balloon eels. Now out of work and banned from ever entertaining children again, Coco ha found work as a hired goon for The Joker and has been a thorn in Batbear's side for years. He has taken time out from being The Jojer;s 2nd in command to try, one last time to win back his first and only love, Boo Boo.
Bouncer - An energetic office manager from Bolton, this hard Northern bear spends his days hiring and firing as is reknown for his 'unusual' work ethics and hours. His company, which manufacture contraceptives, have finally 'head' hunted Bouncer from his previous company, a toys designer. Obsessed with the 80's and the music of Abba, Bouncer haas has a restaining order taken out against him, banning him from being 50 metres from any thetre showing either the stage musical or the movie.
Harry - An orphan bear with an odd phallic shaped scar on his forehead. Harry often gets his kicks from telling girls he has 'magical powers', although there has yet to be any scientific proof of this, and the court has ruled that the only power he has is the power to waste police time.
Monty - a post office worker fromn Chiswick, that has a fetish for long, hard beats with lots of tounge. He has many tattoos of sankes, of which is whole body appears to be covered in. Having brought his pet snake, he has been told to keep in out of harms way. although he has promised to keep it in his trousers....
Clark - A former member of the dadbears for Justice, Clark was walking home one night after a protest, when a metior came down and struck him on the had. Thinking nothing of it and keeping a small piece of metior in his pocket for good luck, Calrk carried on homeward. The next day Clark awoke to find he know had amazing superpowers including super strength, flight and....whats that in his pocket....
Seymore - A former olimpic swimmer, Seymore was forced into an early retirement after he was blinded. According to the court report Seymore was taking a leak in a public conveinence when he heard a man beconning in the next cubicle. wary of the situation Seymore decided to look through a hole in the cubical wall, when suddenly something shot through and hit him in the eye. He tryed lokking with the other eye, but again something shot through and hit him in the eye. he never saw it coming....
Ella - Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, Ella was forced to have surgery, which lead to her becoming obsessed woth the way she looks. A keen fashion enthuiast, Ella has over 120 fur coats, including the one which sparked much controvasty....a bear skin coat.
Hank and Cheif - Twins, who auditioned together, and claim to do EVERYTHING with each other. Having appeared previous on the Jemery Bear show, where DNA results showed,n fact, the two had different biological fathers. however, the apir remain adimant that the results had not changed their relationship.
Seymore - A former olimpic swimmer, Seymore was forced into an early retirement after he was blinded. According to the court report Seymore was taking a leak in a public conveinence when he heard a man beconning in the next cubicle. wary of the situation Seymore decided to look through a hole in the cubical wall, when suddenly something shot through and hit him in the eye. He tryed lokking with the other eye, but again something shot through and hit him in the eye. he never saw it coming....
Ella - Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, Ella was forced to have surgery, which lead to her becoming obsessed woth the way she looks. A keen fashion enthuiast, Ella has over 120 fur coats, including the one which sparked much controvasty....a bear skin coat.
Hank and Cheif - Twins, who auditioned together, and claim to do EVERYTHING with each other. Having appeared previous on the Jemery Bear show, where DNA results showed,n fact, the two had different biological fathers. however, the apir remain adimant that the results had not changed their relationship.
Keifer - Star of hot US Tv show 24-7, Keifer never sleeps, never eats, never even pees, until the job at hand is done and the world once more is safe. Coinsidently, Keifer has only work 7 days in his entire life.
Bernard - A heaf cheif who runs a Bistro in warwick, known for his unique dishes. Bernard is a hands on kind of aa guy and insisits that all dishes have his own personal touch to them. His scecret ingredient is a closely kept gaurded secret, which he may or may not let slip.
Betty - A wanna be journalist who seeks to have her work internationally recogised, but loaths fashion and anything assossiated with it. Hoping to find fame for her work Betty has got one last chance in the Bear brother House.
There you have it this yeaar's contestants! Get voting for your favourite as none are save from eviction, and can go at any time....
See you all tomorrow!
Bernard - A heaf cheif who runs a Bistro in warwick, known for his unique dishes. Bernard is a hands on kind of aa guy and insisits that all dishes have his own personal touch to them. His scecret ingredient is a closely kept gaurded secret, which he may or may not let slip.
Betty - A wanna be journalist who seeks to have her work internationally recogised, but loaths fashion and anything assossiated with it. Hoping to find fame for her work Betty has got one last chance in the Bear brother House.
There you have it this yeaar's contestants! Get voting for your favourite as none are save from eviction, and can go at any time....
See you all tomorrow!
Friday, 27 February 2009
Lock,Loaded and Ready for Action
Good Morning. Oh what a bright, crisp morning. Perfect for Bear Brother to have the Bear brother House Spring Cleaned before the arrival of the contestants tomorrow. Bear Brother prides itself in having one of the cleanest houses around, although filled with dirty little critters. Bear brothers’ elite team of Super cleaners have been hard at work throughout the night and this morning, despite the absence of team leader, Joy, who is bowl surfing,after a heavy night on the lash. If your listening Joy, remember that Bear Brother will need that vacuum cleaner, returned and clean by tomorrow at the latest. But, don’t fret help is at hand as Bear Brother’s own Henry has offered to lend a helping hand.....not quite what we had in mind, although he did say he always likes to share his work his brother....Surprising how well they have done seeing as one of the Hoovers was on the brink last week....Too much suction....kept getting our rugs suck in there....
Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the start of this year’s Bear brother House!
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Contestant Wows Judges
Hi all, Davina again, and after yesrdays desasterous audition today we bring you one of the sucess stories. Meet Boo Boo, 23 from Oxfordshire. A former Uni student, Boo Boo or Boos to her friends, was thrown out of the University after and allegded scandal involving a webcam. 2 years into her astrology degree, and 9,000 in debt Boo Boo is looking for a piece of fame to pay off her debts and for a nice place in Ibiza. Having registered for last years' Bear brother, but losing out in Boot Camp (Yeah Ok it works differently here in bear Counrty!) Boo Boo thought she had better up the anti to garantee a place in this years Bear Brother House. 'How do you boys like Melon?' she cheekilly asks, and with no fruit in sight, it was 3 yeses from our panel of judges, having scored highly in the 'Exceptional tallent' catagory Boo Boo is straight into this years Bear Brother House.
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
A Fishy Tail
Hi All, Davina here with day two of Bear Brother auditions.
To kick start the day the first auditionees were a right pair of old seahags. One was a large framed girl, if I had to describe the heaviest part of her it would probally be her scales....
Hello sayed Bear Brother, where did you two meet? Online...the mermaid replies.
Don't be silly she snaps tell them the whole story. The diver bear replies I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there alone for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or fish to come by so I would have something to eat, looking up I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes. 'Great,' I said. 'I’d like to be rescued.She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island. Next I asked for a body like Brad Pitt. Another slap of the tail and here it is. Then, noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wishes fulfilled I asked if I could make love to her. She said no that it just wouldn't work her being half fish and all. So I said, 'Well, how about a little head then?
Bear Brother showed them to the door, we could tell she had been swimming near too many ship bottoms....
Thats all for now, more Bear Brother auditions tomorrow....
To kick start the day the first auditionees were a right pair of old seahags. One was a large framed girl, if I had to describe the heaviest part of her it would probally be her scales....
Hello sayed Bear Brother, where did you two meet? Online...the mermaid replies.
Don't be silly she snaps tell them the whole story. The diver bear replies I was in the navy and my ship was sunk by a torpedo. I was the only survivor and I managed to make it to a deserted island a few miles away. I had been there alone for several months and was sitting on the beach one day waiting for a bird or fish to come by so I would have something to eat, looking up I saw a beautiful mermaid sunning on a nearby rock. She swam over to me and informed me that she was a magical mermaid and could grant me three wishes. 'Great,' I said. 'I’d like to be rescued.She slapped the water with her tail and a ship appeared, sailing straight for my island. Next I asked for a body like Brad Pitt. Another slap of the tail and here it is. Then, noticing how beautiful she was and all my other wishes fulfilled I asked if I could make love to her. She said no that it just wouldn't work her being half fish and all. So I said, 'Well, how about a little head then?
Bear Brother showed them to the door, we could tell she had been swimming near too many ship bottoms....
Thats all for now, more Bear Brother auditions tomorrow....
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Bear Brother Contestants
On the Count down to Saturday's live Premiere of BearBrother, Bear Brother host, Davina Mcbear takes you through the auditions and selection process for this years' Bear Brother House. Over 14,000 Bears applied, however only 12 will be selected as contestant to enter the Bear Brother house this Saturday.
January 2009
Bear Brother takes to the road!
the first contestant that auditioned, professed to being a Magician. Do us a trick Bear Brother asked.OK he says, you understand I am a Magician, not a wizard. Because if you are asking me to help you with problem I can't because thats a wizards job. You see I just had this toad asking me to help because he has a yellow penis. And I told him what I told you. I can't help. So wheres your grey beard bear brother asked. NO sasys Magicia, that is what Wizards wear! Well wher can we find a wizard? Magicia turns around and walks off shouting - just follow the yellow dick toad!
Later, Bear Brother auditioned another bear, or should we say bears. Hello and what is your name? Dorthery she replies, and your friends are? Well I will show you she replies.Lets just hope Auntie Em and Uncle Henrey aren't watching back in Kansas....
Finally the last contestant was a liitle bear in a Princess outfit. As pritty as a peach, which was the colour of her dress. Howver Bear Brother did notice an odd rash around her mouth. Had an allergic reaction, Bear Brother asked her. No, she says, it's just that I found this toad outside........
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